Graduation blues -jobhunting fog

Well, I finally made it. I graduated with a Master of Social Work and even passed my licensing exam. I now have my LMSW. For the past two weeks I have been completing applications and sending out resumes. At first I was limiting my search to Manhattan, Junction City and Topeka. I felt that was a good range. The only problem is that there are not very many job openings at the moment in those cities. So yesterday I took the plunge and made applications in Emporia and in Wichita. Those are a little far out for me to drive to on a daily basis but I admit that I am getting a little discouraged.

Discouragement is really my biggest hurdle to overcome. It is hard to know that you have so much to give but the only responses I am getting is acknowledgement of my application. In the next week I will be making follow up phone calls and I am thinking of actually visiting some places. This means a trip to Topeka and perhaps even farther. It is not like I thought that a job would just be waiting for me. I was hoping that the VA job would be easier though.

As my partner told me this morning, I need to keep my chin up. So I am going to work on things that will help me do that. For example, I am going to get out of the house today even if it is only to check the mail at the post office. I thought I might do a little window shopping at the Mall which is something I have not done at all since we moved to Manhattan four years ago. I am going to do a bit of spit and polish on myself, just to lift my spirits.

Anyway, I know this is an "inside job" and it is up to me to gear up for it. So that is my goal for today and the next few days. Watch out world. You are about to receive something fabulous!

February 9, 2009

This week has seen a lot of ups and downs for me. I am beginning to prepare for the MSW exam. I want to take it in a month. I try not to get too anxious about it but that is hard at times. I also got some bad news that my stipend ends at the end of 500 hours. I was counting on that money to take me to the end of the semester. It is not a disaster and I am glad I know about it now. However, this means I need to be very careful with the money I have left.

Of course, all of this gets me to worrying about money which is never good for me. I get concerned about getting hired at the end of April - beginning of May. Honestly there is a part of me that wants to be employed by the VA because of the security it offers to me, benefits and they pay well. Another part of me wants to hire on at place that will let me provide therapy with clients and I am not sure that the VA will do that.

Lots of things to think about and yet I know I need to set them aside and concentrate on the task I have in front of me today. Do the homework, read the books, practice for the exam and do my best at my work at the VA every day. That is more than enough.

Preparation

It is only a few days before the beginning of school - my last year before graduation. It is also less than a week before I begin working as an intern in my field that I have been preparing for so very long. I am getting myself as organized as I possibly can by printing out the syllabus and the readings for the classes that have them up online. It is exciting because I can feel the approach coming.

I have many concerns about the coming year. Some of them have to do with all the things that I am just vaguely aware that I don't know and yet will have to learn and do. Others have to do with living in a new place and how I will adapt to the new people and surroundings. I have faith that it will all smooth out once I am in place but it makes me anxious just the same. Another reminder that I can not live in the future but need to refocus on what is here and now before me. 

Before the beginning

Limbo is uncomfortable for me. We all know that place where we are ready to begin but it is not quite time. So we have to wait. During the wait I find so many questions. Will I have what it takes to do what I am preparing to do? What kinds of things do I need to bring with me that will help me accomplish what will happen? What will it be like?

Of course, there are no real answers to these questions until we get there. So now I need to practice patience and redirect my focus to those things, events and people that I need to deal with in the present moment. Much of my lessons at this time seem to be centered around this idea of living in the moment. So I must let go of the unknown of the future and pay attention to the now.